Questions and Answers – 9

Have there been any interesting language or cultural misunderstandings you’re up to sharing?

A fellow staff member exchanged greetings with me one morning, and I gave appropriate replies to his “Good morning,” “How are you?” and “Did you sleep well?” “How is…?” he asked, and recognizing the “how is” part of his question, I gave the reply, “Just fine.” “No, no,” he reproved me. “I asked you how your husband is. But you don’t have a husband, do you?” “No,” I humbly replied, and had him teach me how to say “I don’t have a husband.” “That was a trick question,” I accused him, and his eyes just twinkled.

Would you believe he tripped me up on the very same question two days later? But third time’s the charm, and I finally got it right!


Questions that are inappropriate in America are thoroughly appropriate here. I can’t keep count of how often I’ve been asked my age or why I haven’t yet gotten married (and if weight was something Africans worried about – they don’t, rather refreshingly, and are just as happy fat as not – I’m sure I’d get questioned on that too!), and as I was discussing this with Abba one day, he pointed out that there are other things which are offensive in America which aren’t here. “For example, if I say ‘---- you!’ that’s not a bad thing here, but Americans say it is.” “Abba!” I exclaimed in shock. “Yes, that’s a very bad word! Don’t use it!!” “But ‘----’ even appears in American movies,” he pointed out, “so I just don’t understand why it’s so offensive.” “Yes, but movies get a very bad rating if they use that word,” I declared. “Hmm. Well, when we say ‘---- you!’ we’re just joking with you,” he assured me. “You don’t have keep saying it,” I pointed out, regaining my sense of humor.

It turned out to be a good thing Abba related this information to me, however, as the very next day a sweet-as-can-be girl on staff used it when talking with a guy in my office. Thank the Lord that I knew not to be offended or shocked at her vocabulary. NOT that I plan to add it to my vocabulary at ALL!

Later on the same week, some boys were telling me how the thumbs-up sign is very offensive here. “Really?” I exclaimed, unconsciously giving it. “This is bad?” Yes, they assured me. “Well, this is just a way of expressing that something is positive,” I said, unconsciously demonstrating the sign again. “So if you ask me how something is going, I would just do this; what do you do?” As I kept repeating the sign by way of demonstration, I suddenly realized that it is so totally non-offensive to me, I was using it without a second thought. And that’s what it had been like for Abba when he kept swearing at me!

Note: Questions 6-11 were all provided by one dear friend who was curious about different aspects of life here that hadn’t necessarily been addressed on this blog yet. You too can ask questions – I welcome your ideas for blog material. =)